These gremlin queries would grind the system to a halt and frustrate users and cause our system administrators to listen to scream-core music all day long.

I would just like to say for the record that, as one of the aforementioned system administrators, I already listen to scream-core music all day long.

That being said, it *would* be nice if people took it easy with the queries. That will let me loosen the cilice belt a hair and focus on email deliverability.